the evolution of me

I guess what makes us human is
that we all feel, we all make mistakes, and we all
have to keep going despite what gets in our way.

Nothing has been the same and to be honest im
scared. Afraid that I will always feel this way.
That I will always be so unsure of myself that,
I might not be able to have a normal relationship
with someone else anytime soon. I guess that's
what happens when you love someone, and it ends.

You tend to not look at what you should see.
all the things about them that made you smile
seem like a distant memory...slowly fading
like an old photograph. I don't know much about
the world or even the purpose of life. But I
know what its like to feel that pain.

That tightness and pain in your throat that
you feel as you lay awake at night crying because
you don't know who you are anymore. Then there's
the pit in your stomach every time you think of
their face or hear a song that reminds you of them.
Eventually the sharp pain evolves turned into a
dull ever-present pain one that you carry
with you and dont know why.

Eventually you get to the pain of acceptance. You
come to realize that things are never going back to
the way they were. Theres that hopelessness and the
feeling that there is nothing you can do and in the
end your feelings are right.

All you can do is take whats left of who you are.
Put yourself back together and hope.
Hope that someday you find someone that can love
you as much as you loved that person.

Thats what keeps me going..Some may call me a fool
and that true love does not exist, and maybe they
are right. But I guess im a fool because i still
believe in love. I still believe in happiness and I
still believe in the strength that I hold within
myself.

I will stand in the sun again and I will be happy, I shall find
my happiness in the small things in life. I will love the friends
I have and live my passions in life, it is my goal .
It is the evolution of me.